Katili challenged me to list six of my dreams, my wishes and hopes. It sounds easy, to know what you yearn, but when I started to write down my list, I found that it wasn’t as simple as I had thought.
It’s not that I wouldn’t know what I want. I just don’t know, if I would be disappointed if the wishes didn’t come true. And if so, are those things wishes at all?
Maybe I’m only a realistic. I know there are things I can wish for, I know there are things I can do to make my dreams come true, and I know there are things that just won’t succeed in this life, things I just have to live with, cope and make the best with them.
I could wish my back wouldn’t trouble me any more, but at the same time I know the facts of my backbone. To lessen the pain I can’t only dream; I have to exercise and stretch my muscles constantly. The condition of my back is up to me.
I could wish that depression wouldn’t come sneaking upon me. I most surely don’t want to sink into that black hole again and to hinder that, I must try to listen to myself, to be aware of myself. I know the symptoms, oh yes, I know them more than well, so I must be quicker than depression. It’s up to me to fight against it, and never let go.
I could wish that the joy in creating would in the future still be a joy, the mere amaze of writing, taking photos and painting would still have magic, but I also know that there are always times when it’s better to stop everything. I can’t be creative all the time and only pour out what’s in me. I have to fill me up with new things and that requires times of doing nothing.
It’s up to me to tolerate the times of less imagination.
I could wish to publish a book. Well, I already did that, and maybe sometime, I’ll publish another one, all by myself, just like I want it to be. My own publisher. I like it, because the recognition of me is more important than the recognition of others. It’s up to me to like and appreciate the things I do.
I could wish for more or less, but I believe my wishes aren’t that important. It’s more important what I do. Maybe I’m dull, but this is me and I just have to live with myself.
To other people, my wishes are: all the best. Nothing more exact. Only the best you can do.
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How about your dreams? Catch the challenge and write about your wishes. Yes, just you.
