Look At Me, I'm Hundred...

not a day younger

not a moment older

More Portraits

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For Your Eyes Only

Since some of my dear Blogger friends haven't been able to leave their comments into my WordPress-blogs, I'll post some of my photos and art here. Today is the time for portraits. Hope you enjoy.

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Never Never Land

I know what it's like to live in Never Never Land.
You are never happy.
You are never feeling good.

You are never safe, the demons of the your never leave you alone.

I know what it is like to live in Never Never Land.
The land never ends, not until your life does.

So Many Songs I Don't Want To Sing

I Dressed Up Just For You!

My blogger friend Mick celebrates his birthday 22.3.2011.

(better too early than to totally forget...)

Do You?

Mirror, mirror, on the wall,

tell me, please,

tell me all.

Do you like what you see?

No, I don’t.

I see me.

Life Goes On

There are bad days. And then there are worse days. Some days, maybe luckily, are nonchalant. This is such an indifferent day, so I decided to write a little.

On bad days there’s no desire for writing. I’m tired of writing about anxiety and depression that hold their grip. It’s boring to read about those feelings over and over again. I’ve written about that pair too often.

Life goes on, still. Not much words. Instead paintings. Done by hand. It feels good to take a crayon and draw a line. It feels almost satisfying to drop a paint-brush into water or oil color and look at the canvas turn into color.

It’s almost bedtime. The best time of the day. Despite the nightmares.

Sleep tight.

Selfportrait: Fooling Around In A Black Dress

Don't talk to me about the blues

It’s funny, how all of the sudden it hits you. The sky is clear blue, the sun is warm, full and shiny, you feel the heat on your skin and you close your eyes.

It’s a mistake. The shade behind your eyelids turns into pitch-dark, and your vision becomes black.

No, it’s not funny, I had it wrong. It’s sad, the unexpectedly gripping moment of anguish. The flood of anxiety crashing over you. It’s horrible, and it makes you think how thin the line is, just a mere stripe that hinds you from falling down and drowning. Beneath. Under of this everything.

The feeling of being safe is just an illusion. You are not safe with depression. Never. Never.

Don’t tell to me about the blues, blues is only music.

Broken

I know how it feels

to be broken.

Looking at the pieces of myself.

Trying to save all those fragments of my mind,

Losing  bits of sanity.

So many times,

so many times before.

And now, once again.

As I swore that never, never again.

Here I am, once more.

 ***

The weekly theme for Thursday Challenge is broken

Cry

Smile though your heart is aching
Smile even though it's breaking

No, it isn’t like that.

Cry when your heart is aching.

Cry when your mind is breaking.

That’s better.

When there are clouds in the sky, you’ll get by

If you just cry when there’s fear and sorrow

Cry and maybe tomorrow

You’ll see a smile come shining through for you.

If you just cry.

Feelings should be shown. No one is supposed to be happy-go-lucky just for the convenience of other people.

There’s nothing to be afraid of tears. Tears don’t kill you, tears don’t suffocate you. Smiles through tight lips damage you more.

Please, cry.

A Meagre Survival

Soft

The weekly theme

for

Thursday Challenge

is

soft

Self

Bored with myself.
Tired.
Disgusted.
Looking at myself.
Listening to myself.
Seeing me.

It's a shame you can't run away from yourself.

I'd like to.

Inferno

Where is hell,
pray, tell me,
so I’ll see,

trying to beware
not to find there

myself.

Is it in self?