The Pillar

She’s tired of being the strong one. She’s fed up with everybody counting on her –her family, her friends, her colleagues at work. She doesn’t want to be the one everybody depends on.

She’s tired of listening. She doesn’t want to hear anything, she doesn’t want to be covered by the feelings other people vomit on her.

For once in her life she would like to answer herself, but nobody asks her anything. Nobody wants to know her feelings, nobody is interested in her thoughts. Not at work, not at her home.

No one asks her how her day was when she comes home after work. No one is interested in that, because they are too anxious to make her listen to their thoughts, their feelings and she is once again pushed in the corner. Her duty is to listen, nothing else.

Sometimes she tries to rebel, tries to say something, but she is ignored by words such as “you’re such a good listener”, “you’ve got experience, wisdom”, “you are a person I can depend on”, “you’re my mum”, “you’re my wife”, “you’re my daughter”.

We need you, they say, you’re strong and sane and you know the solution to our problems. We trust in you, you can’t let us down. You must cope, because we have no one else. You carry us in your hands and without you, we’ll fall.

She’s trapped, because she knows that her strength is nothing else than weakness and because of her weakness, she has to stay.
She’s got no power to run away from them.

Herself she has left years ago.