Sunday, 7 October 2007

Six months

I was in Turku for the weekend. Visited the book fair and strolled in the crowd, listened to writers and met some fellow bloggers. The trip did well for me, because I’ve been in a lousy mood already for some time. Year after year autumn gets harder for me. It’s just a fact I’ve got to accept. I’ve tried to fight against my melancholy moods, but I haven’t succeeded so well.

I’ve tried to think positive (after autumn and winter the spring is sure to come…), I’ve tried to sleep enough (seven hours a night isn’t enough…), I’ve tried to find new, inspirational hobbies, tried to take care of my physical health.

I’ve done my best, and nothing helps. This is I. I despise autumn and hate winter and there’s nothing to do about that.

Maybe this is just the time for me to be moody. Maybe I’m built this way: I’m not meant to be happy for six months a year. Well, I could turn this thought around and think that I can be happy for six months a year.
But I won’t.

I’ll settle for this, I have no intention to fight against things that won’t obey me. Nature is too strong an enemy. For meanwhile.

But my time will come.


Elegia said...

You should move to Australia for winters :)

I could move too. Maybe I could spend a week per winter in Finland.

KennethSF said...

Ah, now is the autumn and winter of your discontent, huh? ;-)

Actually, sometimes it's better to embrace melancholy than fight it. Who knows? Your least favorite seasons might inspire you to pen a melancholy epic or shoot a series of sepia-toned photographs. I shall look forward to both.

Little Sister Araneida said...

I could endure even the worst November days if only I didn't have to wake up so early. The combination of really bad wether conditions and waking up before the body is able to move makes me feel like 50 yrs older.

SusuPetal said...

Not a bad idea, Elegia. To spend Christamas on the beach and barbecue! Nice!

Kenneth, are you back from Paris!
I try to focus on that idea too, to embrace melancholy. Sepia-toned suits me well.

I believe that is also the problem for me. To wake up in the dark and to go out early -it surely makes you feel lousy, Ara.

chrome3d said...

I used to think so too about winters. Then I thought that I had to find something good about winter that only winter can offer. Then it all goes easier.

hpy said...

It's hard to get up when it's dark. Also in France.
And it's getting darker every day. At least every morning.

Mick said...

For years I've been trying to figure out a way to buy a little cottage in Argentina so I can have spring and summer all year long by flying between the two hemispheres. If I stop sleeping, eating, making art, blogging and get two more jobs, I can afford to do it! Now, that's depressing! :D

SusuPetal said...

What was it you found, chrome3d?

The getting up is the hardest thing, HPY. It's never easy and during the dark time, it's almost impossible.

Not a bad idea, Mick, just sad that's it's almost impossible to stop drinking. Eating, yes...:=))

Kutuharju said...

"Shout, shout let it all out". Write your anger out, word by word, it may take a long time to get it out, but even if it takes a long time, that's when you eventually realize: it's springtime againnnn!!!!

SusuPetal said...

Hah, it's going to be a long story, Kutuharju!

griesmail said...

I can imagine a bit, for a long time I worked in night-shifts during the winter. Went to bed in the dark and came out in the dark.
It was very depressing.
I already told you I do like the Autumn and Winter here in Holland. I makes me work harder in the studio.
But if possible I go for two weeks to a warm light country in this season. End of the week I fly to Marokko, even stay in the desert for a couple of days with the Bedoins Take care a warm hug from Trijnie

SusuPetal said...

During winter(and autumn) it's dark in the morning when you get up and set off to work. The sun rises maybe at 9 o'clock, shines(if it's not cloudy...) for few hours and sets at three in the afternoon. You seem always to walk in darkness.

Oh, Morocco! I've been there three times, so I know you will enjoy! Have a sunny journey, Trijnie!