I tried to party last night. It was difficult. Once again.
It almost always goes the same way: I sit in a restaurant, drink some wine or beer, eat something, talk with my friends and suddenly I get the urge to run away. Go home.
I drink a little more, try to get in the mood. I look at people having fun, ordering more to drink, getting drunk and at the same time I feel myself sliding away from all the merry-going-around. I feel isolated, I feel tired, maybe even a little bored.
At this point I have two possibilities. I can either drink more and try to get on the same level with that happy-go-lucky-feeling that frenzies my friends or I can get up, say “see you” and walk away.
I walk away and while doing that I wonder what’s wrong with me, why can’t I enjoy an evening with my friends? Why don’t I get excited when people start to reveal their secrets, when they begin to yearn to tell their truest thoughts and facts about their lives, their beings, their opinions, their children, their relationships? Why don’t I get thrilled by music that leads other people to the dance floor and makes them dance like maniacs?
Is it because I’m afraid that I’ll do the same? Be something that I’d regret next morning? Or am I just tired of listening to other people? Should I really be a hermit?
Or am I just a bore?
43 comments:
I presume Reiska thinks I'm a bore and Remf will ask me if I have a hang-over.
Well, I don't have a hang-over.
I went home, didn't i?
I wasn't going to ask anything.
I will tress only one vital fact: with getting drunk it is like with everything else in this world; to be succesful, you need dedication and pratice.
And hangover is for amateurs, for that matter.
How do we know you went home? My connection to NASA satellites are down at the moment, and the image I received here was quite blurred alredy when I saw you entering the restaurant.
Boy! Yo are fast! To comment, that is.
Well, I'm too impatient to dedicate my life into trying to succeed in drinking.
I hate all kind of practise.
Really, you must get your connections better, call NASA and demand for some action!
I presume you were blurred, not the image.
I am so fast the letters don't always follow - well, no big deal.
One can also try to get drunk on amateur basis. But don't come to tell me that you weren't warned. And don't try it at home, alone.
But, that was my point, Remf, I have noticed that drinking alone is much more fun than drinking with friends.
A hang-over is never fun.
I don't like warnings.
You hate to practice all glorious skills to the point where you can say that you truly master them, you don't like warnings, you don't get excited when people reveal their secrets that they in normal circumstances tend to keep under the most scrutinized control, to say the least, and you don't like to drink or have hangover.
But you wouldn't make one week as a hermit. You still lack the finesse of truly hating everybody and everything.
Yes, that is the ultimate problem: I don't hate people.
I even like you, hahhah.
And I do like to drink alone.
Maybe I should not try to party, eh?
(but what should I then write about???)
The golden rule in the World of Bloggers: you can write any kind of bullshit - but change your image (name, personality) every now and then. Keeps you sort of innovative.
I like to write all kind of bullshit with my own name.
I don't like to change names, that is, hahhah.
But that could be a great idea for somebody who wants to start from the beginning. Say, for example to somebody who is now known as a gentle and caring blogger(like me) and who wants to try the evil side of the mind.
But does that keep innovation in fire? Isn't it an energy eater to change personality now and then? Do you know, Remf?
"...with my own name."
Susu Petal Kärnänsuo?
Susu Petal Vuento-Kyrvääntö?
Susu Petal af Pizzicato y Dedalus?
Susu Petal?
We don't know your last name? Or is Petal a last name?
(Sorry. I had to do that.)
My analyst tells me there's no harm in switching personalities. I guess that's because he can charge me many times, every time with a new name..
But seriously, I think let's say you would like to start writing about people and to people what you really think of them, the problem is the style. Someone would recognise: my God it's Susu? I think you should start writing in a totally different style - that is perhaps not easy but good practice (you'll love it, just think it with another name).
Petal is my last name and my middle name you don't want to know...
I believe your shrink is a walthy person.
Naa, I can't write under a pseudonym, though your suggestions are remarkable. My style is my style and if one's got a style, why cover it, hahhah.
Besides, I've got already so many blogs... to start another one still with a new name is insane...even for me.
Hello?
So there's no more censorship?
OK, this is what I had to say.
I think you are familiar with this famous conversation:
Personnel Officer: So whaddya want to hack for, Susu?
Susu Bickle-Petal: I can't sleep nights.
Personnel Officer: There's porno theaters for that.
Susu Bickle-Petal: Yeah, I know, I tried that.
Personnel Officer: So now what do you do?
Susu Bickle-Petal: I ride around most nights - subways, buses - and write shit in my fifteen blogs, but you know, if I'm gonna do that I might as well get paid for it.
Personnel Officer: So what is it? Do you need a sixteenth blog? Go out more with friends and feel sorry afterwards and lie it's not hangover.
Susu Bickle-Petal: I... I just want to work long hours. I want to write things that don't upset anone.
And as we know, it didn't end up well...
Censorship? Here? Well, that would mean "no comments".
No way.
(didn't quite get that, your talk about censorship)
That personal officer is no shrink, I can tell. Funny suggestions, to go more out with fiends. No deal.
btw, Bickle isn't my middle name.
I had problems sending in comments...
If you were in Scorsese's film Taxi Driver, Bickle would be your last name (that is, if you had a drivin license - I hope you do?).
Personal officers are seldom shrinks, or even have any idea of psychology, unfortunately. I guess that's why they are personal officers.
I don't have a drivings license. I let Travis do the driving.
So, it was me you were commenting to?
(but couldn't get through). Good, because if it was you talkin' to me, it's OK. Was it you talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who the hell else are you talking... you talking to me? Well I'm the only one here. Who the fuck do you think you're talking to?
Oh yeah? OK.
Yes, I prefer taxis.
I think we have a breaktrough here: you said you prefer taxis.
A few hours ago it would've been: "I don't like taxis."
Is there something else that you would like to elaborate on taxis? They're nice big cars, big motors, polite drivers with caps, clean, etc.
You like taxi drivers' caps? Other caps? Tell me, let it flow.
Well, I don't prefer caps.
But taxis I do prefer. I think this is enough for today. You can't expect that I'll start to like everything!
Maybe tomorrow. Maybe not. The direction seems anyway quite good. Towards liking:)
It is so nice to hear you say that.
Tomorrow when you wake up in your warm bed under the warm nice bear skin at the first sound of your own rooster from your own barn and you set up to milk them cows that you know is jus' expectin' ya - walking down that road, smelling the fresh country air and the muffins aunt Mary jus' bakin' - you feel like sayin' out loud:
Ah sure like dis simple life! No townspeople hav'it better!
Oh yes, and as I look at the rising sun I sing out loud "the sun shines east, the sun shines west, but I know where the sun shines best" and after milking my little cows I run to the kitchen, and my oh my, god almighty, there are the sweetest pies Ma and Aunt Mary have been baking!
Pa sits in his chair and good ol' Jimbo is sniffing its tail under the table. Little sister Sue is crawling on the floor and Petes freckles glisten in the morning sun. Say, there is nothing like home. Like good country home. Filled with liking. All Gods chillen have no trouble no more. Amen to that.
(can't wait for tomorrow! Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love ya tomorrow)
It's sooo good!
Me and boys jus' wonderin' hea:
Why Sue still crawling onda floo´? She's soon twennysix, ain't she now?
She bloggin' o sumpin'?
First there's a good text, and then there's a good discussion in the comments, and I'm so tired today that I can't say anything about nothing.
(And I wasn't partying yesterday. I didn't even drink wine as I usually do.)
Sue is just a little bit tired, been writin' to all her 16 blogs all nite long, ya know!
HPY, I think the comments are much more interesting than my texts. In fact I've been wondering, if I should dedicate this blog for comments only.
Yes, one can be tired without partying and drinking, too.
No no, you you are a BORE HERMIT! A real tight ass!
You're late, Reiska. Been partying last night, eh?
Yeah yeah yeah, clap your öh! Yeah, bin farting all night long from Inari to Moscow, road movie.
Oh, potpourriing your way through the continent! Your own private Fartland, how nice!
I have find my way .Yes I like AA!
Well. good for you to have found your way, Hogrelius!
I don't think you'd make a very good hermit -- socializing night & day on your 16 blogs... what'd all those virtual people do on their virtual freetime without you?
It didn't occur to you that, perhaps, the place and the company was The Bore - not you?
Kutuharju, I try not to think like that, I prefer myself being the Bore, because I have that feeling -wanting to run away- in so many different companies.
It's my problem.
But being social in the net is not boring!
Well. It is just a sign of intelligence and wisdom that you don't enjoy to spend your nights being drunken in the restaurats. What is good also is that you can put that wisdom and intelligence into use as well. Being drunken in the restaurant untill it closes is stupidness, waste of time and life.
(This is very hilarious to speak English with a Finnish woman. Like we would be in the school.)
Well, don't know about wisdom -maybe it's just old age, that makes me want to go home and sleep...?
Oppia ikä kaikki, Mikko, also in English and of course it is allowed to comment here in other languages too:) My answers are not in any language though, only in Finnish, Swedish and English.
I definietly prefer English here. Like I wrote, it is so hilarious. If I would be better in Swedish language I would use it because it would be even more hilarious.
Jag undrar forresten om det var jag som stod som modell for texten. Egoistiskt tankande av mig, men det liknar mig valdigt mycket.
Vittu mä haluun oppii tota ruotsia.
Hilarious feelings make the day, Mikko:))
HPY, texten är inte om dig, men vi är säkert lika i detta fall. Det är nog bra att veta, att det finns också andra, som inte orkar ha det roligt hela tiden. Inte i alla fall ute på en krog.
Hemma är det ju alltid roligt!
Man bör dock minnas att två tredjedel av alla olyckor händer just hemma. Det betyder ca. 75 000 olyckor per år. Gå ut, ni två, snabbt!
Det är nog farligt, Remf, att stanna hemma, jag vet!!! Men att gå ut!??? NEJJJJJJJ!
Aahh, mulle tuli niin täydellisen hyvä mieli luettuani tän kommenttilodjun viestit, anteeks vaan etten englanniks vieläkään väänny:)Sanailunne on armotonta ja kieli ihanan rikasta, tätä lukisin ihan mielelläni jatkossakin!
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