Leaving...

...sadness, madness, depression, regression?

Maybe not.

But the old year, well, I'm leaving it.

Light, Joy and Inspiration For You All!

Happy Holidays!

Peace and love and understanding!

yours truly

A Beautiful Song

Ken Keatley sent me a video response to my autumn animation, a beautiful song, a beautiful voice. Please, enjoy.

My old animation:

Ken's song

It's Time

for Christmas Calendars! You'll find mine here!

Who Wouldn't Feel Crazy From Time To Time?

Let's all feel a bit crazy today!

And tomorrow, too!

November

We've had warm, sunny days. It's hard to believe it's November. Last year it was like THIS. 

I like this November so much better.

Susu's Petals

To remember the colors, to maintain the light of summer deep down inside me. That’s important in surviving, untill the new spring finally comes to existence.

I’ve started a new category in my photo blog. Please, warm yourself with Susu’sPetals.

I'm Tired Of Living And Scared Of Dying

Too tired to write. Too tired to paint. Too tired to think. Luckily there is music. 

So Many Songs I Don't Want To Sing

Birth Of A Painting

please, look here!

Finnish Summer

Finnish summer is short compared with winter. Winter lasts for six months. At least. Summer is short as the flutter of a butterfly.

Summer is the first clear blue sky of May. 

Sitting with a friend in the sun, cherishing the incredible feeling of the first moments on summer terraces.

Seeing new places is a thing to do in the summer. To find light is easy. You just follow the sun.

Sea glitters in the sun. You feel the scent of salt, and the thirst for summer grows in you. You must have more of this: light, warmth, the never sleeping sun.

Bonfire salutes summer. Flames caress your skin, and it’s impossible to dream about winter. Summer is so much stronger.

Wild flowers colorize fields. The number of colors is more than one can realize or count. Every color is the color of summer.

Even black.

And snow white.

Summer is visiting places, seeing friends.

Summer is exhibitions.

Summer is searching for the blue sky among the ruins of oneself, the shattered pieces broken by winter.

Summer is galleries and the thrill of finding perfect lines.

Picking berries, eating them. Swimming, sleeping, drinking, reading, laughing with friends. And so much more. Finnish summer. Not yet at the end.

My Finnish Bikini

Mick longed to see my Finnish bikini writing his comment, so to ease his pain, here is Middle Morbid in her brand new bikini designed by me.

What do you think -should I make postcards of my design bikini and sell cards to tourists ;)

Summertime

Roses Are Roses Are Roses

Heatwave. Yesterday Finland was the warmest place in Europe. In the whole world, if I remember correctly.

Time for roses.

For those who graduate, those who find summer love, for those who water their plants in the garden.

Roses in bushes. The sweet, warm scent reminds me of childhood. It was always summer, it was always warm, it was the never ending days filled with reading, reading, escaping from this world. I loved those dark pinkish petals. So did bees. Dangerous flowers. 

Helsinki. Ranked to be the best place to live in the world. I agree. I like Helsinki. It's big enough, small enough. In summertime wonderful. Winters I hate anywhere up here in the north.

Heatwave. Also in my brain, so nothing new. Depression is my middle name, anxiety the suburb I live in, emptiness my state of mind.

*

More Than Tired, Less Than Dead

Today:

my hair is dirty,
my nails are beautiful,
my mind is broken,
I'm more than tired, less than dead

Kiasma -beautiful in my eyes

I love to visit Kiasma, The Museum of Contempary Art in Helsinki. What exhibition there is going on doesn’t matter (now there is ARS 11).

I visit the building because of its maginificent architecture by Steven Holl. 

The outside og the building is nice to look at, but above all I love the inside of the museum. 

Light and shadows in exhibition halls and especially in corridors and stairs thrill me. 

The lines and angles of ceilings and walls are relaxing, beautiful and inspiring, just to look at or to take photos.

I took some photos visiting there yesterday with my friend. 

Hope you enjoy these photos. 

Click at the photos to see them in full size.

Delight

Depression that has been my true friend for over two years, never deserting me, always by my side, has shown signs of fading away. That feels strange. It feels good.

I haven’t felt pleasure for ages. I’ve done things, but that doing hasn’t made happy, there’s been no joy in completing a short story, finishing a painiting.

Yesterday I felt joy. I was happy. No anxiety, no panic. No wanting to escape away from the crowd that surrounded me. No hyperventilation behind the corner.

I had a sales table in a bazar where I sold my handicraft and paintings. Did I sell much? It’s not the point, the main thing is that I survived the fours hours I sat and stood behind my table. I smiled to the customers, I talked with them. And all the time I felt happiness for my ability to be among so many people.

Pride. That’s what I felt.

What happens tomorrow? Shall I turn again into a hermit? Will my heart pound in anxiety, is it hard to breathe? I don’t care. I won’t think about it. There’s no sense in worrying, which is what I’ve leraned during these two and some years. What comes, it comes.

I’m happy now.

The End Of March

Want to take a ride?

Just a minute!

Look at the neighbors!

So cozy and charming!

Spring? Oh no, Helsinki looked like this today. Wednesday March 30.

Patience...

I Dressed Up Just For You!

My blogger friend Mick celebrates his birthday 22.3.2011.

(better too early than to totally forget...)

I Can't Get No Satisfaction

It’s been a long time since I last made a video. That’s not surprising. It seems like a long time since I created anything.

Depression doesn’t allow me to feel any pleasure. I paint, but there isn’t any joy in doing that. I write, I look at the words. I feel nothing. I sit on the sofa with my crocheting, stare at the TV for hours with busy hands.

It feels all the same.

Well, anyway. I made a primitive animation. See you.

Women Are Like Good Food

Women are delicious,

so is food.

Women are spicy,

so is food.

Women are hot,

so is food.

I am a woman,

and so are you!

Have a delicious International Women's Day!

Snow, snow, cold, cold

This winter has already lasted for four months.
This winter Helsinki has been the snowiest place in Finland  for weeks.
This winter the temperature sank to -29 C in Helsinki and -41 C in northern of Finland.
This winter seems to go on also for the next week.

At the moment it is -21 C.

I'm tired of winter.

Hush

Me Seeing The Summer After Having A Few Scotchs

I haven’t been complaining about winter, have you noticed? Of course I have posted photos about Helsinki when it was the snowiest place in Finland.

Then came the rain and now Helsinki is the wettest place in Finland. Don’t you believe? Oh, it’s true. Finland used to be the land of thousands lakes.

Now it is the land of thousands and one lakes.

Walking in slush hig up to your knees is an experience quite soaking. Being car washed with icy mud is said to be good for your complexion, but I’m not quite sure about that. The one who said it must have been dozing on a beach, having some warm, white sand on the face, sipping occasionally cool drinks with ice, lots of ice.

Tomorrow the temperature is going down, down, and you know what that means. One has to have skates to be able to move outdoors.

Maybe I shall stay in and have some scotch.

Neat.